Tim Tebow is worthless and so am I but you don’t get to hear about me on ESPN.

I could have been a Division-1 quarterback/tight-end if I had wanted to…actually tried to do so. At least that is what I keep telling myself…and friends…and prospective girlfriends…I tell everyone this. Always had a penchant for throwing the football; a tight spiral, pinpoint accuracy (I won the biggest stuffed animal they offer at the Kings Dominion football toss booth so yea I’m legit), decent distance on my throws…And yet nothing ever became of my surely burgeoning NFL career. Although, quitting freshman football after the first practice because I almost fainted didn’t help. But that’s neither here nor there. I only mention my largest failure/disappointment in life because there has been some unfortunate news in the NFL recently.

Tim Tebow has been signed to the New England Patriots as their 3rd string QB. If you were glad to never hear about him again, guess what? Time to load the hand gun and put on some lipstick because ESPN has already begun the 24 hour nonstop Tebow news cycle. Now, he may not even make the roster but I can’t believe someone, Bill Belichick of all people, was willing to give this guy a chance under center after last season. He couldn’t beat out a butt fumbler for playing time on a horrendous team…why is he on the same roster/field/planet as Tom Brady? I deserve to be holding Tom’s diamond encrusted, never-before-used, UGG shammy more than this guy. At least I would not be stupid enough to think I have a shot at seeing the field and I can throw a spiral…a spiral Tim, beat that.

His media relationship is what gets me the most though. I don’t need some guy that can’t even hit a receiver on a quick slant six yards down the field telling me what to believe in. This is the media’s fault for glorifying him in college. If Tebow hadn’t won at the University of Florida would anyone be listening to him? Would anyone care what some washed up ex-collegiate QB has to say about his faith. NO, because people only love athletes when they are winning and to have any shot at that you would need to get to play first.

At this point, Tim Tebow is nothing more than a pastor wearing football pads.

Dear ESPN,

Please let him slip quietly into obscurity so we can all get on with our lives.


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